i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
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