If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
