I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
