can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize