I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
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