thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Randomize
