that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Everyone says I win the strip club
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Randomize
