UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
