If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
