My girlfriend figured out who you are.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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