I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
