But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
you have to choose: penises or morals?
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Randomize
