there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
