dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
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