I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Randomize
