Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
