party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
