The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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