I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
areolas are like halos for boobs.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Randomize
