haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize
