so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
