Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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