You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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