come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
