I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
