you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
