batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
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