I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
Also, beer. Big fan.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
