I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
