just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
