My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
