It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Randomize
