I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize
