I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
