Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
