no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
