she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Randomize
