a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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