If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Princesses don't give blow jobs
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
