i permit you to call me
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
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