im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
