Do you still have your period?
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Randomize
