she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
