Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Randomize
