You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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