definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Randomize
