Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
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