dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
