Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
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