Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
